Money Woes and Ho Ho Ho's

As my last post was a tad gloomy, I figured I'd better fess up about some of the dramas we've been having since our arrival in Berlin.

Finding an affordable room in Berlin proved
harder than we thought

It all began about two weeks into our stay, in the cosy apartment we'd secured via Airbnb. We began talking with our host via the Airbnb site back in October, as we weren't having much luck responding to rental advertisements on Craiglist or the local website WG-Gesucht.de.

I figured if we contacted hosts directly and asked whether they wanted to secure a tenancy for 1-2 months, we may get a better deal. And I was right.

Our host offered us the room in her 2 bedroom apartment for the same daily rate as 2 dorm beds in a hostel. We figured this was a good deal as we would have the autonomy/privacy of our own room in a quiet apartment, rather than sleeping a noisy hostel dorm with 10 other people. In addition, the location was fantastic - walking distance to the East Side Gallery and the nightlife of Friedrichshain and Kreuzberg, 3 stops from Alexanderplatz and Mitte and literally one street away from where my friend lived.

In our correspondence with her I emphasised that we were coming to Berlin to relax and do some work over winter as we'd been on the road for 5 months already. She assured us that her apartment would be fine for this and with the exception of one existing Airbnb booking (which she would move into her own bedroom) we would have the apartment to ourselves.

I insisted on a contract as we were getting a special price not calculated by Airbnb (see my previous warning on doing this) to which she agreed, emailing me a copy of a signed untermietvertrag contract shortly after. Relieved, I gave up searching for an alternative.

Apartments in Europe are often smaller
than what we're used to in Australia

Upon arrival my first impression was that the apartment was rather small - but having stayed in friends' apartments in various cities throughout Europe, I knew that this wasn't unusual and reminded myself that it was only going to be the three of us. As we'd flown into Berlin from Istanbul at 4:00am that day, once the introductions were complete and the keys handed over my partner and I promptly fell asleep.

I awoke an hour or so later and went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. That's when I noticed a bedraggled looking fellow sitting at her computer. He greeted me warmly in German and whilst a little surprised, I figured it was her boyfriend or the existing Airbnb tenant so I wasn't too concerned. She later emailed me to apologise and say that the guy in her bedroom was her friend Hans, who was meant to depart that day but would be staying just one more night with her in the kitchen...

Considering the size of her kitchen, I wondered where the hell they were planning to sleep. It was about the size of a walk-in wardrobe and barely contained the fridge, dishwasher and small table that was already in there. Nevertheless I pushed it out of my mind and set about unpacking and making ourselves comfortable.

Hans did indeed leave the next day and the existing Airbnb tenant shortly after. It finally looked as if we would have the place to ourselves. But then a day or so later, another couple arrived and our host resumed her nightly kitchen-floor camping. As there had been no explanation offered, I presumed I had made a mistake and the existing booking she had mentioned was in fact this new couple, not the couple staying in her room when we had arrived.

However this new couple were a little less considerate and their loud lovemaking and constant flooding the bathroom started to get on my nerves. Upon their departure I expressed my relief to our host, who assured me that she would ask future guests to be more considerate...

Wait a second - future guests?

It was then she revealed that she had in fact secured several other bookings for the month of November and December and would continue to sleep on the kitchen floor during their stay. I told her I would need to speak to my partner about that, as we weren't really keen on sharing such a small space with more than one person (especially as it felt crowded already!)

She appeared genuinely concerned about the prospect of us leaving and so made me an offer - if we agreed to stay until mid-December, we could have our room completely free for 4 weeks on the condition that we would welcome more Airbnb guests while she went on a Yoga retreat.

Despite my misgivings, I relented. A month's accommodation absolutely free seemed too good to pass up. It would reduce our living costs considerably getting two months accommodation for the price of one. Plus, whilst I felt annoyed that she hadn't been straightforward with us, I dismissed it as having been lost in translation. I also felt bad about simply checking out, since we'd promised we would stay for at least 2 months.

As is often the case, if something seems to good to be true than it probably is. Once our host felt satisfied that we weren't going anywhere (and once we'd given her the first month's rent) all attempts at being courteous and considerate ended.

Once our host had our money,
the courtesy ended

She began to leave soiled laundry on the bathroom floor and fill the narrow hallway with suitcases and boots and Yoga mats and shopping bags; blocking access to our room.

She would walk around the apartment shouting into her mobile phone at all hours (especially when on the toilet?!) and slam the front door when we were trying to sleep. She also had a habit of cooking lentils or boiling vegetables and leaving the debris all over the kitchen stove - vegetable peelings, mysterious pots filled with sludge. It smelt awful. I refused to clean up after her, so it often sat there for days and hardened like concrete...

Rubbish bins went un-emptied, recycling piled up in the corner, the dishwasher remained full at all times. I also noticed she had a habit of moaning about her problems to me A LOT (especially troubles with her boyfriend) and never once asked us how our day was, or why we were travelling to Berlin. She yo-yoed between being civil and saying hello and simply ignoring us. It started to piss me off.

In addition, there was a severe mould problem in our room that she had attempted to disguise behind a curtain. One day I pulled the curtain back and realised the wall (that happened to be at the foot of the bed, closest to our pillows) was covered in blue and black clouds. It occurred to me that perhaps this was why my partner and I were suddenly sneezing and coughing a lot (and after my experience with bed bugs in Istanbul, I wasn't too happy about another infested room!)

So we began spending more and more time away from the flat, in addition to the usual sightseeing and bar-hopping. We would spend hours in local cafes instead, using their free WiFi and consuming multiple cups of tea and coffee. Her apartment (and her presence) became increasingly unpleasant and undesirable.

We avoided going back to the apartment

Then one night, we realised we were low on cash and attempted to withdraw some money. An obscure message came on screen in German and the machine spat out our card.

Perplexed, we walked a few blocks and tried another machine. The same thing happened again. We tried 2 or 3 more machines on our walk home but the same thing happened at each one.

I rang our credit card company in a panic. They explained that the card was frozen due to some suspicious transactions within the last 48 hours. As the call centre operator read out to me the thousands spent on shoes, electronic goods and flooring (yes, flooring) my stomach filled with dread.

I insisted that those weren't my transactions and was transferred to the fraud department. The next operator assured me that a new card would be sent to our address in Germany within 3-5 business days and their fraud team would 'investigate'. Until then, we simply had to wait.

So we spent our last remaining Euros on some groceries and prepared ourselves for a very boring wait for our replacement card. Thankfully, as we had already paid our host for the full month we didn't have to worry about accommodation for a few days, at which point we would hopefully have our new card and be able to withdraw some cash.

But then...

Two days later I was in the kitchen preparing a meal when our host arrived home with a friend. This wasn't unusual (she had a constant stream of people in an out) except this time her friend had brought a lot of bags and suitcases with him. She mumbled "hello" to me and promptly snuck into her room. Her friend came into the kitchen a few minutes later and greeted me warmly. He then proceeded to tell me that he was moving in, as he'd just been dumped by his girlfriend. My stomach sank. Another house guest? How many people did she seriously think she could fit in this apartment?

It was then that my partner and I decided enough was enough. I told her we didn't want to share what was essentially a one bedroom apartment (that she had deceptively advertised as a two bedroom) with up to six people, including her Airbnb guests. We would begin looking for an alternative. She reminded me again of the 4 weeks free rent she had offered, but I told her it wasn't worth it. I would rather pay for our own room and live comfortably as I was tired of always avoiding being in the apartment.

Our new apartment was minutes away
from the fabulous Turkish Market

Fortunately it didn't take us long to find a new place. Another search via Airbnb led us to finding a HUGE 2 bedroom apartment in Neukölln, sharing with just one young guy from Tunisia. Not only was the room twice the size, but the rent was even cheaper and the location fantastic - minutes away from the fabulous Turkish Market and surrounded by wine bars and restaurants.

The only problem was our replacement card. It still hadn't arrived. So I called the bank and had it redirected to my friend's place, as I figured that was safer (her name would be on the bell board downstairs, making it easier for a courier to find). We then transferred some money to our back-up travel card. Whilst the exchange rate on that was woeful and the bank fees much higher, we had no alternative as we needed our money.

Unfortunately, the first attempt at delivery failed as my friend wasn't home and the courier had not left a note. Despite repeat phone calls to the courier company and the bank, it seemed the package disappeared off the face of the earth. So I asked them to send another. We were starting to get anxious, it had been three weeks at this point and still no replacement card (nor any response from the fraud team on their 'investigation').

My partner and I began snapping at one another as we became increasingly frustrated. I became paranoid about every dollar we spent. In addition to the homesickness we felt as the festive season approached, it seemed like an added stress we simply didn't need... I began to question what the hell we were thinking taking an extended sabbatical from our lives. It all suddenly felt like too much effort.

Then one day I received a phone call from an old friend. As I whinged to him about the dramas we were having, he simply replied: "Storm in a teacup."

He was right. The fact was, despite our initial difficulty in finding a suitable room, we eventually did - and we were lucky to have a roof over our head at all. And despite the delay in getting a replacement card from the bank (and the fraudulent transactions), we still had access to our money and it would get resolved (eventually).

It's important not to lose perspective

It's important when travelling to not lose perspective. When you're in unfamiliar surroundings and away from loved ones, it can get overwhelming at times. Depression and anxiety can set in. Especially over winter, when you're not getting as much exercise, you're spending more time indoors, the days are shorter and it gets dark by 4:00pm...

But if there's one thing you can count on - it's that problems CAN and WILL arise, especially when travelling long-term.

I have a theory when it comes to my job at home: the one thing I can be certain of on a film/TV shoot, is that something will always go wrong. The key is to prepare myself as best I can for that inevitability, so a small hiccup doesn't become a major disaster. It's the same with long-term travel.

All you can do is prepare yourself as best you know how and accept the things you cannot change. You're simply setting yourself up for disappointment if you think traveling will solve your problems completely or be void of the everyday issues you face at home.

People rarely talk about the loneliness, hopelessness or discontent one can feel when travelling. Perhaps  it's because we don't want to appear ungrateful. Or perhaps we don't want to worry loved ones back home. But I think it's an important factor to consider before you leave, so that you can at least prepare some coping strategies for when those feelings inevitably arise.

I've learnt the importance of looking after ourselves whilst on the road - continuing to eat healthy, getting enough rest, getting some gentle exercise (and that doesn't include dancing until 4:00am and downing bottles of Pilsner, as I learnt the hard way).

Simply getting some fresh air can help

A Skype chat or phone call with a friend or family member often helps, as does taking a walk. Even if you're going nowhere in particular, simply getting out in the fresh air and getting lost for a few hours can re-awaken that wanderlust and remind you that the world is continuing outside, despite whatever problems you may be having...

Reach out to others. Even though I'm not travelling solo this time, I can't expect my partner to fill every role in my life. Sometimes connecting with other travellers or expats can do wonders - seek out local events or see if there's anyone within your extended social network you can meet up with for a coffee and a chat.

Or volunteer. I often volunteer whilst on the road but also when at home, because nothing helps you realise how fortunate you are than helping those who are less fortunate. Research has shown that adults who frequently give thanks and feel grateful are shown to be healthier and happier people (an excellent TED talk on this very topic here).

And if all else fails - crank up some soul or funk music and dance around in your pyjamas (hey, it works for me).

So as we all celebrate the festive season with our friends and family throughout the world, take a moment from the beer-swilling and the cricket (in Australia) or the glühwein and markets and parties and shopping and whatever else you might be doing...

Try to slow down, relax, focus on what you can control and don't dwell on what you can't.

And most importantly - be thankful.

Be thankful