What Travel Fatigue Feels Like

The weather matches my mood

It's been a tumultuous week for us here in Germany and just as the weather has dampened and darkened, so too has my enthusiasm for this trip.

I know from previous travels how important it is to listen to these feelings and not ignore them, as the remedy can often be as simple as laying low for a little while and licking your wounds... just until the desire to explore returns and your stamina is restored.

In the days leading up to our flight to Berlin I imagined the weeks ahead involving little more than nights spent cruising from one graffiti-covered bar to the next, with days spent recuperating inside the countless museums and serene art galleries that inhabit this city.

But the truth is, in the month we've been here we're yet to set foot in a museum and the big nights out have been few and far between. This is in part because I no longer have the stamina for it (the partying I mean - I can quite happily sit up all night watching movies and scoffing chocolate, but my days of swilling endless jugs of beer and dancing fervently until dawn are sadly over) and in part because what we've really been missing is the same dull, predictable, domestic routine we left behind 6 months ago.

It may sound inconceivable, but after almost half a year living out of bags and hustling our way across foreign countries I really just want somewhere to lounge around in my trackies and sip cups of tea.

Boring, huh?

Staying put for a little while

But humans are illogical creatures and even a restless nomad like me gets tired of constantly moving after a while. Whilst we haven't exactly been whizzing through countries and cities at the speed of a Contiki tour, the longest we've stayed put anywhere has been a month (and that involved working in a hostel, so it wasn't exactly a tranquil mountain retreat).

The irony is that in saving for this trip I spent so many weekends on the couch, consoling myself with the notion that I would have plenty of time to eat out at restaurants and trawl bars when we finally hit the road...

However even eating out gets boring. The novelty of having someone else cook for you quickly wears off, you get tired of trying to find something on the menu that you actually desire to eat and you crave some of the familiar, comfort foods from home (oh what I wouldn't do for some toast with Vegemite right now!!)

I know, I know - first world problems, right?

Constantly moving can get tiresome

The thing is, I haven't stopped being grateful for the opportunity to travel. It's just that long term travel can have its downside.

For starters, you spend a lot of time confused - which gets exhausting after a while. In addition to not knowing the names of places or streets (no matter how well researched you are), not knowing where you're going, relying on maps and trying to make sense of the public transport system in every city/town you visit - sometimes you simply don't know what the hell is going on ("Why is everyone getting off the bus?" "What is that voice over the loudspeaker saying?" "That crowd walking towards us chanting - is it a protest or a celebration?" "Should we be worried?!")

We've been in non-English speaking countries for half a year already and whilst Berlin offers blissful respite (as the majority of people here speak English), everything is still written in German. So something as simple as going to the supermarket can take longer, as we're reliant on images to figure out what the hell we're buying ("What exactly ARE these sausages made of?" "Is this bacon or what?")

Also, to our surprise everyone here automatically assumes we're locals. Almost every time we venture outside someone stops us to ask us something in German - some get quite annoyed to discover we're Australian. Or when we do go to bars and restaurants, we're handed a menu in German and need to call the wait staff back to translate. Eventually you do get tired of feeling like child, always vulnerable and always at the mercy of other people...

Not to mention the scammers. A sad fact of travelling is that EVERYWHERE in the world there exist GOOD people and BAD people. GOOD people will sweep to your aid like a superhero, delightfully explain to you the meaning of some obscure sign and ensure you get on the right train going in the right direction. BAD people will get a mere whiff of your uncertainty and like a scavenging hyena they will encircle their prey until they can fleece you and scuttle off, leaving your desolate carcass behind...

(Sorry - I have some bitter memories).

From guesthouse staff in Asia discreetly pocketing half our laundry, to street vendors hearing our accent and suddenly charging double what the guy in front just paid, or the driver who zig-zags through the entire city before dropping us at our destination that was mere minutes away - slowly they all chip away and my cool façade crumbles until I'm sobbing in the street whilst my partner coos and pats me on the back like a baby.

We've met so many great people but had so many goodbyes!

You also get tired of the constant goodbyes. One of the best things about traveling is all the interesting and fun characters you meet. But one of the worst things about traveling is also all the interesting and fun characters you meet. You bond with them for mere hours, days or weeks and whilst your spirit is lifted temporarily, in the blink of an eye they're gone again - so like the child at the centre of a messy divorce you become sceptical and untrusting of your fellow humans and withdraw from all but the most necessary contact.

You also start to feel numb. "Amazing ruins you say? A spectacular beach? A historic building full of cultural and political significance?" WHO GIVES A SHIT. The gushing accolades and brimming optimism of your fellow travellers starts to grate on you, and you stop absorbing what's right in front of your eyes. Sure, there's always going to be sights that are memorable and plenty that aren't - personally I found many of the ruins in Rome a bit meh, however I sat and started at Michelangelo's David in Florence for hours. But when that nagging little voice in your head says "You should be enjoying this" and you aren't, it's time to listen. 

Berlin's Christmas Markets

I realised something was wrong recently when we visited one of Berlin's most picturesque Christmas Markets. One of the reasons we chose to bunker down in Berlin over winter (in addition to the cheap booze) was because of the friggin' Christmas markets, which are supposedly some of the best in Europe. 

I admit, I was slightly hungover from the previous night's expedition bar-hopping through Neukölln, one of Berlin's ostensibly hippest boroughs (and our new home - more on that saga later). So the thought of weaving through a crowd of revellers tipsy on Glühwein didn't really appeal, and my partner had to cajole me out of bed with promises of bratwurst and Christmas cake.

It didn't help it was freezing cold and took us a good 15 minutes to find the place. But find it we did (eventually) and for a few short minutes I was caught up in the beauty and the atmosphere of it all - the fairy lights, the christmas decorations, the quaint wooden stalls, the nutcrackers, the hand-knitted goods on display, the sweet Apfelkuchen...

But before long the crowds and the queues started to do my head in. I was jostled amongst impatient groups of friends clamouring over one another to reach the bar. Parents with oversized prams blocked any possible means of escape, as their petulant offspring screeched for another turn on the ferris wheel. Stall owners hollered about their wares or shoved their goods in my face, hipsters on mobile phones elbowed me absentmindedly as they scanned the crowd... even the jolly trumpets of the Christmas band sounded deafening. I lasted less than an hour.

Whilst I've always been cynical of the rampant consumerism and materialism at Christmas time, I'm not generally so disenchanted about the Christmas festivities per se. I think what's really going on is that I'm perhaps a little world-weary, perhaps missing my friends and family at home (who are no doubt enjoying the Aussie summer - you lucky bastards) and perhaps craving some of my familiar routines (exercise, cooking, reading and writing...)

Anyway - enough of my whining. The apathy I'm no doubt projecting in this post is precisely why I need to stop, catch up on some Netflix viewing and not feel guilty about the fact that I'm sitting indoors in my trackies catching up on some Netflix viewing. I need to take the pressure off myself to experience every little piece of this city and simply enjoy spending more time doing less.

Because although I may feel sick of travelling right now, it's only temporary and this too shall pass. The fact remains we've embarked on an amazing adventure and we're very fortunate to be here. I've already got some wonderful memories of this trip and one day I'll look back on this time in Europe and be nostalgic for the Christmas markets... just as I'm currently nostalgic for Vegemite on toast.

This too shall pass